Tag: coping
A Thank You
A Thank You
Over the past couple of days I’ve had a few conversations about coping and grief, and how we deal with those emotions. I know this website gets read a lot and so I want to say a public thank you to Bruce Farrow and Kim Blackmore plus Dr Tad James (although I’ve never met him!).
Almost 2 years a go I started a journey of personal development in understanding how we think, how we communicate and how we deal with emotions and manage our state. Kim and Bruce were the trainers on that journey.
As part of my development we undertook therapy for negative emotions using Time Line Therapy ® developed by Dr Tad James (hence the thank you to him also).
Over the past 2 weeks since Claire’s untimely death the techniques, ideas and mind set I’ve developed have literally saved me from despair – each day I do Time Line Therapy on myself, learn from the day, apply what I learnt to myself, decide what I’ll do differently next time and move on… just a tiny bit.
I’m experiencing one of the biggest significant emotional events it’s possible to endure, yet I come to it clean. I have no baggage from the past which enables me to deal with this event, bit by bit, hour by hour and day by day I deal with what I experience each day and resolve it.
Writing this blog helps as I can use it as a dialogue with myself, one sentence is often me being client, the next me being coach. It helps – enormously. So if you read these posts and it sounds like two people having a conversation, then that’s often exactly what it is.
Bruce and Kim, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me access to all my resources, for helping me realise that I control my mind and therefore my results and for taking the lid off the dustbin!
A day of firsts
A day of firsts
Each Sunday morning Claire and I used to have a Lavazza Late made in our espresso machine – this Sunday was the first Sunday I’ve made only 1 coffee.
Last night I woke up cold in bed, it was the first night I’ve done that as we used to cuddle up to each other if we were cold.
Yesterday I cooked a Sunday roast, it was the first time I’ve ever cooked one and Claire not be there.
A day of firsts.
I know we are going to experience this a lot, especially during the first year as anniversaries, Christmas and birthdays come round – so I have a choice.
I can either dread each first and curl up in a corner, or I can become stronger knowing that we never have to go through that particular first again and we’ve overcome another small but significant challenge.
Claire was one of life’s copers. She just got on with stuff and we often talked about the problems we encountered with the kids (those that know us well will know what we are talking about) – she always said to me:
“Mark, what can you change and what can’t you change? Now only focus on changing what you can and accept the things you can’t” – what great advice my sweet.
So I’m going to listen to Claire because she was always right, I’m choosing to live by her example with her as my inspiration – I can’t change that she’s gone, but I can change how I react to my ‘day of firsts’.
Thank you dear, you’ve inspired me once again. I love you.