I occasionally visit these forums and either make a brief post myself or reply to other people’s posts if I feel there is something I can add to help them. Overall not a great one for joining in this kind of thing, my concern is that people wallow rather than take actual steps to move forwards. They have however been a few pearls of wisdom from these forums and generally speaking they are pretty good.
Each of these has a section for the loss of the spouse and this is the part that I posted. Some of them have sections for widowers in which I occasionally post.
The WAY Foundation
WAY aims to support young widowed men and women as they adjust to life after the death of their partner – whether that was a month, a year, or ten years ago.
Tel: 0300 012 4929, email: firstname.lastname@example.org
The Counselling Directory. About a year after Claire died I searched here for a therapist and found one. Being in therapy has changed my life and enabled me to look at the various aspects of myself and my relationship with Claire. Understanding the relationship in more depth has allowed me to understand my feelings and emotions and that understanding has helped me to deepen my relationships with others and myself. It’s not been an easy road to be in therapy, it’s challenging, it’s often difficult and almost always emotional… But I wouldn’t be without it now.
Here’s a list of blogs I follow, please don’t ask to be listed here!
Widows Don’t Wear Black is Nicola Campbell’s place to vent her frustrations at the jobsworths who don’t get it, wallow when she needs to and discover a new future because the unthinkable did happen and her husband died suddenly at 38 leaving her and their two little babies under the age of two behind.
Life as a widower is the compelling story of Ben who lost his wife in December 2012. His blog has been a huge hit around the world and he’s now in the process of writing his first book.
A widows might is a bog that I’ve only recently found (actually they found me!). It is a Christian site so could be helpful to some.
www.beyondgoodbye.co.uk Jimmy writes – “Our son Joshua died in early 2011 and I too immediately started to write and muse about how my interests in photography could help see me through. I didn’t publish anything at first, but then we started our own website to honour and remember Josh – – and that has led us to get involved with a number of charities dedicated to helping people through grief, and try and get a bit more acceptance in what people describe as our ‘death averse culture’. Have to say it has not been easy, but then it was not really a conscious decision to go ‘public’ with our grief – it just happened cos that’s what we do and we wanted to able able to stay in touch as much as possible with all Josh’s friends – and where better than on-line. The difficult bit has been the way many of our close friends (in the ‘real’ world) seemed to have been scared off but our continual mention of Josh and the public things we have done for him since he died – grief is traditionally seen as a private matter – it does afterall get in the way of life’s day to day business of earning a living, cleaning the car, watching footer, having sex and generally being happy and productive. Or does it? Possibly, but only if you see grief as something in which we shut ourselves away in a darkened room so that we can be miserable all the time. Which of course it is not. And that said, two and a half years after Josh died and all those difficult feelings that we and our friends have experienced have now begun to ‘normalise’, I think that by not hiding away (although I still do that a lot of the time) we have been able to face fears (for many the worst fear they could imagine – the death of their own child) by sharing them and in doing so all our lives are enriched – at least I hope so.”