Tag: feeling
Dealing with immense pain and suffering after the death of our partner
Dealing with immense pain and suffering after the death of our partner
When we have a huge amount of pain the temptation is to say that we suffer. I think there’s a huge difference between recognising the fact of our loss, acknowledging how we feel about that fact and then going on to suffer.
In this video I talk about the difference between acknowledgement, feeling and suffering and how knowing the difference can help.
Where is there?
Where is there?
Since the New Year a few people have contacted me and asked me how I’m doing, my reply has been fairly standard – “I’m getting there”.
But where is ‘there’? Is ‘there’ a destination?
When I arrive there will I know, will I be able to say with all certainty that I have arrived where ever ‘there’ is and that everything is now better?
The reality is that this is not going to happen. Claire has gone and she is never coming back, the only resolution is if she was, the only way that I would get ‘there’ is if Claire came back… But she’s not going to so ‘there’ as a destination doesn’t exist.
‘There’ is the journey, it’s a journey which had a beginning but only ends when I do.
‘There’ is now the journey of my life, it’s the journey of all of our lives that knew Claire.
‘There’ isn’t the destination, it’s the process, the path, the experience.
‘There’ isn’t about feeling better or feeling worse, it’s simply about feeling.
‘There’ is all around us, it is us, it is life, this life – so yes… I’m getting ‘there’.