Month: February 2019
6 weeks to live
6 weeks to live
This picture popped up on my Facebook stream today as one of those memories.
When I first saw this photo I got caught up in remembering this holiday, it was the first one away with our new car and we wanted to test it towing a caravan. We made a little trip down to East Dorset for a few days.
Then I saw the date on the photograph, 22nd of February 2013 and I realised that when I took this photograph Claire only had 6 weeks to live.
What’s weird is that I can associate so well into this photograph that I can also associate with the knowledge that I only have six weeks left with my wife. The only thing is that I didn’t know.
It’s painful.
It brings it all back. Again!
But that’s the problem with time travel in our head, isn’t it?
We take today’s knowledge and implant it into yesterday’s experiences and end up with a weird mishmash of ‘now’ and ‘then’!
I’m not sure that’s entirely healthy.
So now I have to ask myself, what can I learn from this? If I don’t learn from this experience then I don’t continue to move forwards.
I guess the learning that can be taken is… What will be will be, what will come to pass will come to pass.
We have no control over it.
It will happen whether we welcome it, reject it, rejoice in it or fear it.
So the only option is to accept it.
That means accepting that right now everyone that is dear to me, and even myself, may only have six weeks to live.
The next question is, would I do anything different if I knew that?
Misty Eyes of Macho Men
Misty Eyes of Macho Men
This poem was recently shared with me, I simply can’t keep it to myself so have reposted it here. Permission has been obtained.
This is beautiful…
I was never given much to tears
Through most of all my younger years
Weren’t they after all a sign of weakness
An outward telling of inner meekness?Guys were brought up to show a sterner face
To believe that weeping brought disgrace
If a tiny drop still found its way
We’d wipe it quickly, then we’d saySomething flew into my eye
Or another off the cuff white lie
Watching sad movies with my wife on TV
I’d look at her sometimes and seeWet tears dripping down her cheek
I’d smile, but knew better than to speak
Now I watch those movies all alone
And those misty eyes are now my ownI look toward her empty chair
Catch myself and realize she’s not there
Once more I feel my eyes begin to fill
To breach the dam and then to spillBut unashamed these days, I let them flow
I can smile through them because I know
Her heart knows no sadness, just rejoicing and pain free
Leaving this world’s worries behind…and her tears here with me…
© Randy E. Richmond – Jan. 25, 2019