Advice for grief
I’m absolutely blown away by this. I asked a simple question on twitter:
“If you were to give a single piece of advice to a new griever on their journey, what would it be?”
I have been absolutely inundated with replies… Yes, inundated! So much fabulous advice about how to cope with the death of someone you love, coming from people who have been there!
Read these replies, and use them in any way you can…
Cry when the waves of grief begin and this will ease the pain
— Helen Hannington💙 (@HHannington01) October 13, 2020
Be T-R-U-E to Y-O-U and go with your G-U-T 💕 I have found that my G-U-T has been like an extrasensory perception and has not let me down, as yet x
— The Sunflower Widow (@SallyCarline7) October 12, 2020
Grief is exhausting. Crying and sleeping will dominate the early days. Don’t expect to remember anything that doesn’t involve your spouse for the first year maybe 2 and be kind to yourself.
— Emma Davies (@EmmEDavies) October 12, 2020
Save memories by writing in a journal thoughts that come to mind. Backup photos/audio electronic recordings. Walk in a park with trees each day. Find a grief counselor. Ask hospice about it, they might help.
— Alex (@spiraldream) October 12, 2020
Grief is an endless journey…sometimes the path will be lit with beautiful memories that will assist you, sometimes you will feel very alone, scared and in the darkest part of that journey. But it is a path that must be travelled.
— Michelle Harvey Life Celebrant (@michharvey68) October 13, 2020
Just be you. Don’t listen to people who say I know how you feel. They don’t, as everyone grieves differently. They may have experienced loss, but everyone experiences it in their own way. Stay busy and take it one day at a time. Remember the wonderful times. She would like that.
— JimmyJohnson (@CoachJPJohnson) October 12, 2020
You may experience anger, even directly towards the lost loved one. You may feel abandoned, cheated, etc. Whatever your feelings are, they are valid parts of grief. They are also temporary so try to avoid making any permanent decisions when overwhelmed.
— Sonya Dawson (@sonya_dawson) October 13, 2020
Take a little time each day to walk in their shoes & remember them. Make a recipe they enjoyed, watch something they loved or listen to their favorite song, wear that shirt they always complimented you on, spend some time with their favorite items, &keep sharing their stories. 💕
— Brooklynn nélle (@brooklynnnelle) October 14, 2020
Be kind to yourself, each day is different & don’t let anyone make you feel like you are grieving “wrong”. This is your journey 😘
— Kelli Smith, MBA (@Kelli1Smith) October 12, 2020
Go easy on yourself. You WILL make mistakes in your grief. Find a few trusted friends to bounce ideas off of because your judgment will be clouded.
— Wondering Widower (@PreacherWorking) October 12, 2020
Someone close to you is going to do or say something stupid. Let it go. They meant well and you don’t need to carry anything more. Accept help. Accept love.
— Alicia King (@thegrieflady) October 13, 2020
Grief is an endless journey…sometimes the path will be lit with beautiful memories that will assist you, sometimes you will feel very alone, scared and in the darkest part of that journey. But it is a path that must be travelled.
— Michelle Harvey Life Celebrant (@michharvey68) October 13, 2020
Have no expectations of what grief looks like, because it ebbs and flows, expands and shrinks and can take you by surprise. There is no right or wrong way to grieve
— Worboys Writes (@KayWorboys) October 13, 2020
You may experience anger, even directly towards the lost loved one. You may feel abandoned, cheated, etc. Whatever your feelings are, they are valid parts of grief. They are also temporary so try to avoid making any permanent decisions when overwhelmed.
— Sonya Dawson (@sonya_dawson) October 13, 2020
Cry when the waves of grief begin and this will ease the pain
— Helen Hannington💙 (@HHannington01) October 13, 2020
Find a widow/widower community to be part of – whether in real life or online. Other widows and widowers truly get it in a way other, well meaning people don’t. Also, the movie “Sleepless in Seattle” got a lot right about grief and grieving and solo parenting during grief.
— Janean Baird (@turquoisetangle) October 12, 2020
Think what the person you lost would want you to do? Which is NOT sit and dwell, get depressed and personally my worst point..want to join them. Things do get better, it took me a while but I believe I am now a better person for it….strangely! Remember the good times! ❤️
— GB (@GraemeBrownlfc) October 13, 2020
Someone close to you is going to do or say something stupid. Let it go. They meant well and you don’t need to carry anything more. Accept help. Accept love.
— Alicia King (@thegrieflady) October 13, 2020
It would be to move your body… I didn’t .. I stayed in because I didn’t want to see anyone. It has lead to feelings of isolation and with C-19 now in our lives a form of agoraphobia.
— Davina Rivers (@DavinaRivers) October 12, 2020
That grief has no time limit and you don’t have to be brave. Remember them, speak of them, love them xxx
— dtgirl (@dtgirl) October 12, 2020
That grief takes as long as it wants to. It will get less raw, but you will feel it forever, because love lasts forever. But, I promise you, you will smile again. It’s okay. Be kind to yourself.
— PAULA T. (@PTOWPS) October 12, 2020
Shrink your time frame. If you can’t imagine getting through the week, concentrate on the day. Or the hour. 💚
— Cooper McCoope (@CooperMccoope) October 12, 2020
People are well intentioned but clumsy with their words. This is very hard to navigate.
— Sarah (@Henryz_mom) October 12, 2020
Grief is exhausting. Some days accomplishing just one thing will be a victory. Some days even that won’t be possible.
— Sarah (@Henryz_mom) October 12, 2020
Grief is a journey, not a destination. And, life does improve over time. Even if you do t believe it will, it will.
— Rachel G Greenberg (@ConnectionsHope) October 12, 2020
Don’t be surprised if close family and friends abandon you.
— Rachel Wakefield (@mrbojanglessss) October 12, 2020
Go easy on yourself. Give in to it; grief lets you know when it’s ready to let go of you. Take solace in the things you can and wait. Eventually it gets a little easier. x
— Good Grief Gift Co (@GriefCo) October 12, 2020
Be “kind” to yourself. Your grief is your own. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. 💚
— Kathryn Minck Woods (@kgminck11) October 12, 2020
Go with it. Accept the waves of hurt, and be kind to yourself, every day.
— Sally (@sparky023rays) October 12, 2020
There’s no ‘right way’ / correct length of time in which to mourn. Find places & people w/ whom you can talk honestly about your relationship w/ the person who has died. The ‘stages’ of grief aren’t linear, you may move back & forward or feel some feelings simultaneously.
— Tamsin Embleton (@TamsinEmbleton) October 12, 2020
Grief is exhausting. Some days accomplishing just one thing will be a victory. Some days even that won’t be possible.
— Sarah (@Henryz_mom) October 12, 2020
You never get over it but learn to live with it. Hang in there ❤
— Niall Tuohy 🏁🇮🇪 (@niallptuohy) October 12, 2020
Give yourself the time a space to experience all of the emotions that will engulf you over the coming months.
— Toby Masson (@Vikkelspies) October 12, 2020
There’s no ‘right way’ / correct length of time in which to mourn. Find places & people w/ whom you can talk honestly about your relationship w/ the person who has died. The ‘stages’ of grief aren’t linear, you may move back & forward or feel some feelings simultaneously.
— Tamsin Embleton (@TamsinEmbleton) October 12, 2020
Sometimes it will feel like a physical pain…. you’ll go through the motions but there will be a time when you smile and notice that you feel happy… that’s a good feeling 💜
— Charlotte Lindley (@lottelindley) October 12, 2020
There’s no ‘right way’ / correct length of time in which to mourn. Find places & people w/ whom you can talk honestly about your relationship w/ the person who has died. The ‘stages’ of grief aren’t linear, you may move back & forward or feel some feelings simultaneously.
— Tamsin Embleton (@TamsinEmbleton) October 12, 2020
That grief has no time limit and you don’t have to be brave. Remember them, speak of them, love them xxx
— dtgirl (@dtgirl) October 12, 2020
Be gentle with yourself. Don’t worry about what others say you should be doing or feeling. Grief is an individual journey that only you can take. #bekindtoyourself
— Lisa (@lisa_belllisa) October 12, 2020
Seek professional help when depression sets in. Knowing the tell tale signs to help understand your life is careering out of control.
— The Shires (@Tim_C66) October 12, 2020
There is no correct way to grieve. Your grief will not look like another’s grief.
— Katie (@katiegirl5) October 12, 2020
Your grief journey is bespoke.
— TTNeb (@ZH956) October 12, 2020
Don’t push yourself in the early days. Allow yourself the space you need to cry, sit in silence or whatever you feel you want to do.
Bonus advice: Checkout @goodgrieftrust for information in your area for help & support when you feel ready.
When you’re getting out of bed in the morning,plant your feet on the floor and say “ I’m going to make the best of today” … the “ best” could be washing your face … there’s no pressure. At the end of the day tell yourselves you did your best. Hope that makes sense
— Katharine Ross (@kat2171) October 12, 2020
There’s no ‘right way’ / correct length of time in which to mourn. Find places & people w/ whom you can talk honestly about your relationship w/ the person who has died. The ‘stages’ of grief aren’t linear, you may move back & forward or feel some feelings simultaneously.
— Tamsin Embleton (@TamsinEmbleton) October 12, 2020
Be kind to yourself. Grief can be mentally, emotionally and physically taxing. It is you who gets through this, so give yourself the love and care you deserve for carrying yourself through this.
— Sangeeta (@socialworkersan) October 12, 2020
Grief is exhausting. Crying and sleeping will dominate the early days. Don’t expect to remember anything that doesn’t involve your spouse for the first year maybe 2 and be kind to yourself.
— Emma Davies (@EmmEDavies) October 12, 2020
Be kind to yourself, there is no time limit to grief. It’s raw and sadly it’s the gift that keeps giving, mostly when you least expect it. I had blood tests to try and find out why I was always tired. It was ‘just’ grief. Take care xx
— Lisa Holmes (@LisseyHolmes) October 12, 2020
Shrink your time frame. If you can’t imagine getting through the week, concentrate on the day. Or the hour. 💚
— Cooper McCoope (@CooperMccoope) October 12, 2020
Beware of the “bandaid relationship”….that jump-in-quick-to-stop-the-bleeding relationship. Been there, done that…got the “scars” to prove it. Be patient. Be gentle with yourself. Watch your money like a hawk! My best, dear one. 🙏
— The Grief Maven (@GriefMaven) October 12, 2020
Grief is exhausting. Crying and sleeping will dominate the early days. Don’t expect to remember anything that doesn’t involve your spouse for the first year maybe 2 and be kind to yourself.
— Emma Davies (@EmmEDavies) October 12, 2020
Sometimes it will feel like a physical pain…. you’ll go through the motions but there will be a time when you smile and notice that you feel happy… that’s a good feeling 💜
— Charlotte Lindley (@lottelindley) October 12, 2020
There’s no ‘right way’ / correct length of time in which to mourn. Find places & people w/ whom you can talk honestly about your relationship w/ the person who has died. The ‘stages’ of grief aren’t linear, you may move back & forward or feel some feelings simultaneously.
— Tamsin Embleton (@TamsinEmbleton) October 12, 2020