[6] I acknowledged “I” as a unique individual
The heart of the suggested steps to Peace & Acceptance is contained in these steps describing the experience of grieving widows and widowers.
Meetings focus on working through the steps, often in a repeating pattern as more learning is revealed to us on our journey. There is often no linear progression.
Acknowledging I as a unique individual is something that can often be very difficult to do.
I think this can be because we have very often been with our partner for years and years and years and everything about them is incorporated into our lives.
Everything about the decisions we make involves a cross-check with our partner, even a simple thing like what film do I watch, what do I have for dinner tonight – for years and years we have spent time discussing it, asking, “What film would you like to watch?” or “What would you like to have for dinner?” and entering into a negotiation process.
Acknowledging that we don’t need to do that anymore and that “I” am a unique individual and “You” are a unique individual, capable and able to make decisions ourselves, and to live as a unique “I”, allows us to really begin to heal and also allows us to move forwards in our life.
Able to make decisions and choices that are right for us.
Later on we’re going to be talking about acceptance of the “I” as a unique individual, but at this stage it’s just about acknowledgment.
Understanding that yes, there is a unique “I”, that unique “I” may be lost.
“I” may not know what to do but “I” stand as a unique individual, “I” acknowledge that “I am”.
Thinking prompts for this step
If you wish you may find it helpful to use these as prompts to guide your thinking when it’s your turn to share during any group meeting.
- Have you ever thought about “I” as a unique individual?
- What challenges do you face thinking about “I” as a unique individual?
- What emotions does thinking about “I” bring about in you?