[3] I accepted my emotions
The heart of the suggested steps to Peace & Acceptance is contained in these steps describing the experience of grieving widows and widowers.
Meetings focus on working through the steps, often in a repeating pattern as more learning is revealed to us on our journey. There is often no linear progression.
I think there is a big difference between acknowledging that we have emotions and that those emotions can be high, they can be low, and acceptance of those emotions – this is what this step is about.
This is acceptance of the fact of “I have had an emotion”… and it is just an emotion. There’s no story, no wandering off in our mind. We’ve just had an emotion, well done for noticing.
Once we’ve had that emotion, that emotion will pass and another emotion will turn up. They’re just like buses in the center of London… as an emotion turns up, we experience that emotion. We say, “oh wow, we’ve had an emotion.”
And so it passes and another emotion comes.
And another.
And another.
If I have an emotion, it doesn’t mean I’m losing connection to my partner, or any other story we might tell ourselves.
It doesn’t mean, “I’ve moved on and that’s that”.
It’s just an emotion.
So pat yourself on the back.
You noticed, well done.
It’s just an emotion.
Let it pass and another emotion will take over and then another, and another, and another.
Stop fighting each emotion, let it be and let it pass.
Thinking prompts for this step
If you wish you may find it helpful to use these as prompts to guide your thinking when it’s your turn to share during any group meeting.
- Why do you fight with your emotions?
- How can you begin to let your emotions simply happen, then pass?
- How can you ‘sit with’ your emotions?