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6 weeks to live | Blog article on coping with the loss of my wife Skip to content

6 weeks to live

six weeks to live

This picture popped up on my Facebook stream today as one of those memories.

When I first saw this photo I got caught up in remembering this holiday, it was the first one away with our new car and we wanted to test it towing a caravan. We made a little trip down to East Dorset for a few days.

Then I saw the date on the photograph, 22nd of February 2013 and I realised that when I took this photograph Claire only had 6 weeks to live.

What’s weird is that I can associate so well into this photograph that I can also associate with the knowledge that I only have six weeks left with my wife. The only thing is that I didn’t know.

It’s painful.

It brings it all back. Again!

But that’s the problem with time travel in our head, isn’t it?

We take today’s knowledge and implant it into yesterday’s experiences and end up with a weird mishmash of ‘now’ and ‘then’!

I’m not sure that’s entirely healthy.

So now I have to ask myself, what can I learn from this? If I don’t learn from this experience then I don’t continue to move forwards.

I guess the learning that can be taken is… What will be will be, what will come to pass will come to pass.

We have no control over it.

It will happen whether we welcome it, reject it, rejoice in it or fear it.

So the only option is to accept it.

That means accepting that right now everyone that is dear to me, and even myself, may only have six weeks to live.

The next question is, would I do anything different if I knew that?