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When will the pain stop?

When will the pain stop?

When will I stop feeling like THIS?

Both questions I hear many times  from widows and widowers.

Claire and I were together for almost 30 years, the intensity of the love that we had for each other was immense.

The intensity of that love continues and I have no wish for it to die with her.

Because the intensity of the love that I have for her continues in her absence the pain continues also.

I have no desire for the intensity of love to stop, ergo, the pain will not stop either.

I have two choices.

  1. Fight the pain.
  2. Accept the pain.

Fighting the pain is committing to a life of futility and struggle, the conflict will always be there, lose the pain and lose the intensity of love, two sides of the same coin.

Accepting the pain is making a choice… making a choice is taking action… making a choice is doing something and is choosing. When we choose we take control and taking control is uplifting.

The pain will never stop  but as time goes on I find ways to deal with it, accept it and choose to live with it.

I choose to stop fighting… Do you?