The Things I Want to Remember

Once again I’m not really sure what the purpose of this post is, memories lost.. or memories retained.

I guess I have two options, the first is to complain about all the things I miss about Claire, except that would be a negative frame to look at it. In fact, those same things that I miss about Claire are the very things that I want to remember… And so here are those things that I never want to forget, and now they are down in writing I guess I never will.

1. When life around us seemed like it was going wrong (and we went through a phase where some big shit happened) she would cuddle me late at night and say “At least we’ve got each other”.
2. The mock arguments we had. Claire wanted the tiniest camper van for some bizarre reason and when she spotted one would screech ‘Oh, can we have that one? – we’d then have a silly & joking debate/argument with me telling her how silly she was.
3. Her snoring that drove me to distraction, but oddly now the memory is a comfort as it’s a sign she was alive.
4. Her unfailing, unwavering and constant patience with the kids that surpassed my wildest comprehension. She truly did have the patience of a saint!
5. Her intellect. She was one clever cookie.
6. Our infrequent but long a deeeeeep conversations.
7. The way she looked after me if I felt under the weather. “No, don’t worry dear… I’ll do it” was her stock phrase.
8. The fact that she had a massive travelers chest FULL of recipes and we often joked that in 22 years of marriage she’d never cooked the same meal twice. If she cooked something different I would joke “mmm that was NICE, I’m  looking forward to having it again when I’m 73”.
9. The love she had for Lowen our border terrier.
10. Her get on and do it attitude. With the house moving project she’d arranged colleges and schools for the kids all well in advance.
11. Her total ineptitude with anything that had a lock or key, especially the caravan where she once spent 20 minutes trying to get in, then drove all the way home to tell me the key wasn’t working, I then drove to the van and opened it first time… she had the key upside down!
12. Her incompetence with anything technological, especially mobile phones – a constant source of hilarity to both herself, the kids and me, especially when she tried to video Evie minutes after she was born, all we got was a video of Claire looking at the phone cursing “I’ve no idea how this stupid thing works, how do I turn it on to video?” – little did she know she’d already turned it on and we got the whole thing recorded!
13. Her chocolate brownie cake at every birthday.
14. Her complete love of the sea where she felt most live.
15. Seeing her hold and play with our beautiful grand-daughter Evie.
16. Being there 5 years ago when we faced financial ruin and came close to loosing everything. She planned, calculated the options and came up with alternatives whilst I found it hard to see the wood for the trees.
17. Her giggle’s at the small things.
18. Her uncontrollable crying laughter at the big funny things that went on for ages.