Once again I’m not really sure what the purpose of this post is, memories lost.. or memories retained.
I guess I have two options, the first is to complain about all the things I miss about Claire, except that would be a negative frame to look at it. In fact, those same things that I miss about Claire are the very things that I want to remember… And so here are those things that I never want to forget, and now they are down in writing I guess I never will.
- When life around us seemed like it was going wrong (and we went through a phase where some big shit happened) she would cuddle me late at night and say “At least we’ve got each other”.
- The mock arguments we had. Claire wanted the tiniest camper van for some bizarre reason and when she spotted one would screech ‘Oh, can we have that one? – we’d then have a silly & joking debate/argument with me telling her how silly she was.
- Her snoring that drove me to distraction, but oddly now the memory is a comfort as it’s a sign she was alive.
- Her unfailing, unwavering and constant patience with the kids that surpassed my wildest comprehension. She truly did have the patience of a saint!
- Her intellect. She was one clever cookie.
- Our infrequent but long a deeeeeep conversations.
- The way she looked after me if I felt under the weather. “No, don’t worry dear… I’ll do it” was her stock phrase.
- The fact that she had a massive travelers chest FULL of recipes and we often joked that in 22 years of marriage she’d never cooked the same meal twice. If she cooked something different I would joke “mmm that was NICE, I’m looking forward to having it again when I’m 73”.
- The love she had for Lowen our border terrier.
- Her get on and do it attitude. With the house moving project she’d arranged colleges and schools for the kids all well in advance.
- Her total ineptitude with anything that had a lock or key, especially the caravan where she once spent 20 minutes trying to get in, then drove all the way home to tell me the key wasn’t working, I then drove to the van and opened it first time… she had the key upside down!
- Her incompetence with anything technological, especially mobile phones – a constant source of hilarity to both herself, the kids and me, especially when she tried to video Evie minutes after she was born, all we got was a video of Claire looking at the phone cursing “I’ve no idea how this stupid thing works, how do I turn it on to video?” – little did she know she’d already turned it on and we got the whole thing recorded!
- Her chocolate brownie cake at every birthday.
- Her complete love of the sea where she felt most live.
- Seeing her hold and play with our beautiful grand-daughter Evie.
- Being there 5 years ago when we faced financial ruin and came close to loosing everything. She planned, calculated the options and came up with alternatives whilst I found it hard to see the wood for the trees.
- Her giggle’s at the small things.
- Her uncontrollable crying laughter at the big funny things that went on for ages.