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Resources for coping with the loss of a wife

Many people, no I mean MANY people have given me some really helpful tips on coping with the death of my wife Claire. I know I’m going to forget most of them, and as many of us know, we start out with good intentions and life just gets in the way and those intentions slip.

So as I have an idea of how to cope practically, or if someone tells me about something I’ll make a note of it here, then I have a constant reference for ideas to go back to…

Diary Management

I’ve found this the hardest thing to do, not only do I have to work full time but I now have to run the house and take kids places. This isn’t the only way to do this, but I’ve found this works really well for me.

  1. Set up a Google account.
  2. Set up a Google Calendar and call it house/kids/home.
  3. Ensure the calendar syncs to your mobile device.
  4. Set up a Google account for the kids.
  5. Share the calendar via the settings with the kids’ Google email address.
  6. Tell the kids to check the calendar each time they want a lift, if there is already an appointment in the diary then they must alter their plans.
  7. I then use a separate Google account for my work diary and show both calendars for me, that way I can see my home and work engagements in one place.

Cooking

  1. Create a folder of meal possibilities, then when it’s time to think what to cook you have a library of ideas that we all like.
  2. Plan the week’s food in advance, day by day and buy food for those meals.
  3. Use the slow cooker, get up 20 minutes early, chuck the food in the cooker and it’s then ready by 6pm for tea.

Cleaning

  1. Do it all as a family for one hour per week, if we all do it together it gets done quicker.
  2. Keep the house clean as we go.

Washing

  1. If one person does a wash go round the whole house and collect washing from each person.
  2. Write a note on the washing machine to ensure the kids ALWAYS fill it. My electric meter says the machine would cost £300/month if it was on permanently, I’ve told the kids this and it makes them aware fo how expensive the machine is to use.
  3. Lakeland’s heated airer http://www.lakeland.co.uk/21736/Dry-Soon-3-Tier-Heated-Tower-Airer makes short work of drying clothes that will not tumble dry.

Shopping

  1. Do the shopping once per week, and do it online.
  2. I use the Asda Shopping App.
  3. Be in the kitchen when shopping online so I can check the cupboards and fridge.
  4. Be prepared to do a top up shop midweek.
  5. Buy milk from the milkman.

 

Dog walking

  1. The kids wanted the dog, so the kids must walk him.
  2. Set up a schedule for them to stick to and remind them all of the nex day’s activity (or they tend to get up too late and can’t take him and still get to school on time)

Kids Birthdays

  1. Give them a total budget for their present and their party/treat. (My kids are all teenagers)
  2. They can then allocate that budget, as they wish, towards a party or present.

 Kids Allowance

  1. Set up a contact for each child in Google.
  2. In the notes section write a credit at the beginning of the month.
  3. Debit the budget each time they have cash.