I feel very strongly that I have turned a corner, a corner of acceptance, not necessarily acceptance of losing Claire but acceptance of the emotions attached to that. I’m still often overwhelmed with the love that I feel for her and then I become overwhelmed with loneliness and loss. I go from high to low in the blink of an eye.
I can wake up one morning and feel good, or I can wake up one morning and feel terrible.
One minute I can be focused on the task in hand and the next my mind can be wondering in 100 different directions.
I’ve reached a point of acceptance of these dichotomous emotions. They are the way things are, and each of them shall pass.
When I’m feeling good it keeps me grounded to know that things can change quite quickly and I will probably feel low again.
When I’m feeling low it keeps me hopeful to know that things can change quite quickly and I will feel happy again.
Whatever happens, however I feel at any given moment… This too shall pass.