So many people are sending the messages and e-mails in response to my blog posts, thank you, please keep them coming you are not bothering me, you are not annoying and it genuinely helps.
Each time someone responds I have a new realisation, and here is one of those.
Here is a snippet of what was sent to me yesterday:
I realised that the loss of <<name removed>> had changed me forever, and importantly I realised that this was OK.
I know that I have changed, and with my training as a coach I recognise that my beliefs, values and decisions have all been jumbled up, reordered and have yet to settle.
I also realise that it is okay to change. It’s acceptable for me to reorder my beliefs, values and decisions to become a new person.
The battle I’m having at the moment is that I don’t want to! I put a lot of effort into my life up until 17 April 2013, a considerable amount of hard work went into my business, my personal life and especially my relationship. That hard work grounded my values and beliefs and ensured that they were all aligned to achieve the same goal. I was happy with that, it felt right and everything with the world was good.
All that has changed now, my beliefs and values have changed immeasurably and it’s so hard to let go of the way things were because of the hard work that I put into all that. And the truth is I don’t really want to let go but similarly I guess I need to as a key component of all of that i.e. Claire is now missing.
If you are happy in your relationship with your partner imagine being told that you have to abandon all of that, completely walk away and change everything. You would be pretty loathed to do so wouldn’t you, and understandably so. Yet that is how I feel. On the one hand Claire is here with us, and if she is then I want to keep hold of that. On the other hand Claire has gone, and I need to let go.
You see my problem?
I need to make a decision to let go of the old me and welcome the new me, soon.